


Not Enough

by Em_Neutral



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda, One-Sided Attraction, alternate title: How Not to Treat the Girl You Have a Crush On, have fun guys, i wanted to write fluff but here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 22:23:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19777657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Em_Neutral/pseuds/Em_Neutral
Summary: Who is this girl to have this effect on her? Who is this Dupain-Cheng to approach her and offer her macarons as a peace offering? Who is this bakery girl to smile so brightly, to still have hope shining from her eyes? Chloe wants to break her. She needs to break her.





	Not Enough

The first time Chloe sees her, they’re nine. Chloe holds her head high as she exits her limo, dressed in a sleek yellow dress. She looks good for the first day of school, even if her mother wouldn’t say so. She waves off her chauffeur. She isn’t nervous. Chloe is a Bourgeois. Her family rules this city. She isn’t nervous. It doesn’t matter that her father couldn’t ride with her to school. He is a very busy man. She knows he is a very busy man. She starts striding towards the school, every step purposeful, confident. Just like her mother taught her. The sound of laughter stops her in her tracks. She turns her head slightly, to see another girl her age. Her heart twinges, and she can’t tear her eyes off the girl.

This girl, with the worn pink overalls. This girl, with hearts and flowers stitched in. This girl, with two parents laughing. With two parents hugging her. With two parents steadying her when she almost falls. With two parents who she blows kisses to from the front entrance. This girl, with stunning blue eyes. This girl, who flashes her a brilliant smile as she rushed into the building. This girl, who leaves Chloe gaping, blushing, and uncomfortably aware of how very alone she was. 

She takes a breath, letting a comfortable scowl settle over her face as she makes her way to class. This girl, she decides, is not good. Her happiness is intrusive. Chloe is a Bourgeois. Her family rules this city. This girl doesn’t know who she is messing with.

When they are ten, Chloe’s mother is gone. And this girl- this Dupain-Cheng- is still in her face. She still dresses in bright colors, her eyes still shine, and her smile still makes Chloe’s heart skip a beat. Her parents still walk her to school on the first day. Both of them. And Chloe is still alone. Who is this girl to have this effect on her? Who is this Dupain-Cheng to approach her and offer her macarons as a peace offering? Who is this bakery girl to smile so brightly, to still have hope shining from her eyes? Chloe wants to break her. She needs to break her. Soon the macarons were crushed beneath her heel, and if leaving Dupain-Cheng in tears breaks her heart a little, no one will ever know. She is her mother’s daughter, after all. 

When they are eleven, a classmate, Sabrina, trails after her like a puppy. Chloe lets her, which she supposes means they’re friends. She lets Sabrina ride with her to school, and this time it is the bakery girl who arrives alone. Dupain-Cheng must have finally learned something, because she knows to avoid her eyes. She still has hopeful smiles, but not for Chloe. She still brings macarons, in a pathetic bid for friendship, but none are offered to Chloe. This doesn’t make her as happy as she thought it would. She decides that it’s not enough. When every one of her smiles distracts Chloe, the solution is obvious. Dupain-Cheng must stop smiling. It isn’t Chloe’s fault that this girl insists on existing so loudly. She’ll be doing everyone a favor, she’s sure.

When they are twelve, Chloe thinks she’s learned how to properly wield her power. If she threatens to call her father, they all do her bidding. Treat her like the queen she is. Chloe is a Bourgeois. She rules this city. Sabrina still hangs off her every word, as it should be. The bakery girl still brings macarons, but only those who don’t know better dare take one. Soon, they know better. The blinding smiles are no longer a problem. And it’s not enough. Chloe won’t stop until it’s enough. Until this girl knows her place. Until she knows that she has no right to any of Chloe’s emotions. No right to the happiness that Chloe has begged for, fought tooth and nail for. She has no right to any of it, so she won’t have it. Chloe is a Bourgeois. She rules this city.

When they are thirteen, no one takes a macaroon. They avoid Dupain-Cheng. She’s finally alone. Which is what Chloe wanted. It’s not enough. Why isn’t it enough? Chloe realizes exactly how broken she is.

The first time Chloe sees her, they are fourteen. She is hurled off the Eiffel Tower. She looks death in the eye. Strong arms wrap around her, save her. She looks up, and sees her hero.

Her hero, in the spotted suit and mask. Her hero, who soars to great heights. Her hero, who gets rid of the monster. Who faces down the villain. Who inspires Paris. Who protects her. Her hero, with stunning blue eyes. Her hero, who flashes the city a blinding smile before rushing off. Her hero, who leaves Chloe gaping, blushing, and, for the first time, uncomfortably aware of how very gay she is.

When they are fourteen, Chloe is coming to terms with her sexuality.

When they are fourteen, Chloe starts to heal.

When they are fourteen, Dupain-Cheng gets her smile back.

But it’s not enough.

Chloe knows it’ll never be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you enjoyed this!! It was basically a four am fever dream soooooo... yeah. Thanks for reading, lovelies <3


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